I am not sure where to place this...

[flboysmom]

My apologies, if it should be somewhere else. It's not necessarily health related and isn't general chit chat.

I have many friends here who also frequent another board, which is not private. I need to get some thoughts in the open and I have no one else to talk to...so I'm coming to get my heart wide open before trusted friends.

As many of you are aware of dh has finally been offered the position at work that he's been waiting over two years for. We're also in the midst of making a decision about him entering ministry fulltime. My heart is heavy, mostly for selfish reasons. I know that some thoughts are not in alignment with God's ways, but they are there. I think the easiest way for me to vent this out is to first explain that dh and I have not been able to speak with anyone regarding the ministry matter accept my parents...who for all their good intentions, are not very helpful right now. I'll go ahead and list my pros/cons/frustrations.
#1. First and foremost dh has known since he was 15 that he was to spend is life ministering the gospel of Jesus Christ. He has strayed from that calling and miserable for it. Over the past year and more so the past six months he has been dealing with this issue like never before.
#2. I was presented with the oppurtunity to work at our church full time. After much prayer and counsel we decided that it was a decision that God would want us to make. This has been a new challenge for us, but people are being saved and blessed by this ministry. I am pleased with the decision to return to work.
#3. Dh works for a great company with wonderful benefits. He has just been promoted into entry level management. If he stays with this company, the next 20 years are mapped out for us. It's security.
#4. Dh has been asked to be the children's minister at our church. Our pastor also feels that it's time for dh to submit to the calling on his life and this is an avenue for him to learn. This is not secure....please don't misread me...I know that our future is secure with Jesus. However, we have no idea where we'd be in two years, let alone ten. I am having such a difficult time with this issue. I would love for my husband to only feel called to teach Sunday School or Small Groups and minister to everyday people he comes into contact with. Why does he have the yearning to yield himself over with his career? And....here's another thought...that is his own...if we didn't have children then he'd take the church position without worrying. My instant thought is...God knows we have kids, He gave them to us...Why doubt that He wouldn't provide for them?
At this point I will accept whatever decision dh makes and support him 100%. The uncertainty is making me batty. Our pastor recognizes the magnitude of dynamics that are about to be turned topsy turvy for us. He has asked dh to sit in two children's services, then do them for a month before finalizing any choices.
This is a unique situation and all that I can pray is that God's glory would be abundant to everyone once our path is clear. In all honesty, it may just be a season of us becoming more aware of how transparent our lives should be for God. It could be that Chris should continue on with his company for the time being...but preparing himself for ministry in the future.
Do any of you have any thoughts or encouraging words to throw out? Your prayers are greatly appreciated. I know that this sounds jumbled, thank you for bearing with me.

Blessings,
Angie

[Mom2boys]

(((Angie))) I have been praying for you guys because I had a feeling that this was the position that he had taken.... I have not shared with many people either that I recently became a Reverand because it has been such a strange thing.... To know you are called and walk it out.....Your life will be right out there in the forefront for all to scrutinize and what a walk of faith monetarily BUT God will bless that faith beyond your understanding.

Have you prayed and fasted yet? God will show you what He wants and He may have already done it since the position opened and it was offered to Chris.

I am very excited for your family and although I know you are shaking inside and uncertain, in my spirit, I have known for the past few weeks (since you announced it) that God is calling your family into fulltime ministry and that He is going to use you in a mighty way to grow that church into thousands and touch the community. It will be a sacrifice, but I believe that the blessings will far outweigh any of the sacrifices.

I have a scripture in my head for you. It's Matthew 6:25-34 . It's all about worry. You have to put this in God's hands and start walking it. He will protect his called people.

Okay, so that pep talk was as much for me as it was for you. I hope it helps.

By the way, I want everyone to feel free to post things like this on this board. If we need new forums added, please tell me what you would like them to be called. Being healthy is about a lot more than just what we eat.


Joyfully His,
Tina

[flboysmom]

Thank you, Tina, that's what I needed to hear. I think that what is bothering me the most is that Chris hasn't made a final decision yet. Once he does then I'll be able to run with it. I can't tell you how many times I've thought over the past few weeks that this would be soooo much easier if we had just entered full time ministry when we first got married. We were afraid then and ran from the fear...now it's time to embrace the fear and turn it around for God's glory. Walking away from a good salary and stability with three kids is not easy, but when I think of it in a spiritual sense it's very simple. We have been taught our entire lives to trust in God's ways and to listen to His voice. We have been molded to reach the Lost.....it's time for us to follow our teachings and lead others to do the same. I just wish that Chris would finalize everything in his heart and head and not second guess himself. If a decision were put on the line today, I know he would choose the ministry....he just hasn't had to do that yet.

I'll write more later.

[Mom2boys]

It has to be a hard decision for him to make. He is the provider for the family. What a test of faith. I'll be praying that he passes.

I would not want to be making the decision he is right now.

Any news on how he's feeling?

[Paula]

flboysmom said:

#3. Dh works for a great company with wonderful benefits. He has just been promoted into entry level management. If he stays with this company, the next 20 years are mapped out for us. It's security.

Angie, my friend, trust me when I say your dh's present job is NOT secure. As you know, my dh worked for almost 25 years at a "secure" job and was downsized out of it three years ago at the age of 49. He had been there his whole working life. I had also always viewed it as "secure" and never thought twice that he may be let go from it. After all, vending machines are going to be around forever, right? (Vending is a much bigger business than the average person may realize, especially when it's the largest vending company in the Dallas area.)

Anyway, that aside, please try not to stress over this. Easier said than done, I know. But His yoke is easy and His burden is light, Angie girl. When we stress, we are not resting in Him and His promises. Do you not know that *He* is perfectly capable of mapping out your future for you? Simply rest in Him. He will make the way clear when it is time for the way to be seen clearly. And not a moment before. It's His way of stretching and teaching us, in His gentle way, to trust in Him with our very lives and futures - and families.

In my journal about a year ago, I actually thanked Him for taking my control from me. Why? Because I was then able to hand control over to Him. It was a long process for me (which you're very aware of), but it has been a tremendous ride these past three years and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world - seriously!

I'll pray for you as the Lord lays it on my heart. I know you know everything I've mentioned in this post. You have been a Believer your whole life and it is second-nature to you to *know* these things. But now the Lord is in the process of taking it from your head to your heart. It's a beautiful place to be, my friend.

Love to you,

Paula

[flboysmom]

Thank you, Paula, your thoughts are a treasure. Dh spoke with our pastor for a long time this evening. As it stands for now he's going to stay with his company and do the children's ministry on a volunteer basis. From the church's stand point this will give them time to view dh in a new light. As I've said before, he's a VERY quiet guy. His personality does not scream children's ministry...it barely whispers it. This is all God's way of working through dh so that He will be glorified. I think that this is going to be an ongoing time of prayer and submission for us. We need to learn to hear the voice of God more clearly. When he does leave his company, it will be a fiasco for them, I'm sure. They are spending more money then I can imagine training him. He'll have to do some short term traveling internationally and perhaps a long term trip to Europe, if he's still there in the next year or so. I need to surrender my thoughts and trust our Father's security. It's so much easier said then done.
I had a reality hit me pretty hard this evening. We have the oppurtunity to teach every child in our church to live in Christ. From me being in the nursery to Chris teaching the Senior High Sunday School Class....we're in every area. What an awsome responsibility we've been given.
Thank you for praying for us as we jouney down this new path.
Blessings!