Post by JCsMomma on Aug 22, 2005 8:23:42 GMT -5
[td][/td]When I was a girl of about twelve, my mother offered to teach me and my best friend, Anna Owen, how to sew. She took us to a fabric chop and let us choose patterns and material. I remember that my material was a beautiful pink and white striped polished cotton. It had a glossy, candy-like appearance. Since it was summertime, I chose a pattern for a sun-dress.
Mother patiently showed us how to lay out the patterns, cut out the dresses, and then sew them together. Although I did not think about it at the time, there was a great deal of love and joy for my Mother in what she was doing. I learned a lot about sewing even though I do not recall ever having the courage to wear that dress in public. Perhaps I did once. Mother, in a sense, was being a Titus 2 Woman to us. She was an older woman teaching the younger women how to care for their families and be sensible with money. As a result, she gave me a legacy that is part of me today. Although I do not have much time to sew, I still enjoy it when I can.
Just as my Mother had a desire to teach me and my friend Anna, God has given me a desire to teach the younger women how to do many things. Instead of sewing, however, I desire to teach others to "love their husbands, love their children, be kind, sensible, pure, workers at home, and be subject to their own husbands" (Titus 2:3-5). In order to accomplish this goal, when I have a Titus 2 relationship with a younger woman, I become personally involved in her life. She is my friend. I share personal things with her and we help each other become as much like the Lord Jesus Christ as possible.
Sometimes we meet together on a scheduled basis such as once a week. Other times, we simply talk on the telephone or meet for lunch. We may meet together to discuss a good Christian book we are both reading. Maybe she desires an older woman to pray with or perhaps to teach her how to sew, shop for groceries, or clean her house. Depending on her areas of weakness and strength, I disciple and hold her accountable in the three areas in which God has in the past and still is maturing me: doctrine, character, and ministry.
*****
Discipling in Doctrine
My experience has been that most of the Christian women I disciple have very sound doctrinal beliefs. When told the definition of a particular Bible doctrine, the readily agree. However when asked to explain the same doctrine in their own words without first being told the answer, they are often unable to clearly explain it and cannot think of a Scripture to prove their point. So, with the assistance of our pastor I have written short, simple definitions with two or three Scripture references for each core doctrine. I usually ask the ladies I am discipling to write their own definitions using their own words. This also includes verbally saying the definitions, looking up the Scriptures, and pretending to explain them to someone else. I ask them to speak aloud and perhaps even practice with someone else to make sure they are being clear. Once I had a public speaking teacher in college who required us to practice aloud. Her point was that even if we were nervous, we would be much more likely to give a clear presentation. I did not know it then but it is actually biblical to "teach your mouth how to speak" (Proverbs 16:23). Women need to be doctrinally sound and teach other women in a clear, biblical manner.
Discipling in Character
Often I will ask a younger woman, "What sins or what character weaknesses do you think God wants you to work on?" They might reply something like, "pride, anger, fear, gossip, or selfishness." Once I asked a woman what she thought her sins were. She could not think of any, so I asked her this, "If I could ask your husband what he would like for you to change, what would he say?" Quickly, she gave me quite a list!
Another time I asked a woman what sin in her life needed work and she was very vague about what sin even was. So, I read to her the deeds of the flesh (which the Bible says are obvious): "...immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these..." (Galatians 5:19-21). We did not proceed past the first one, immorality, before she stopped me and asked me to help her.
Frequently, the older woman will have observed an area in which she believes the younger woman should work. If so, the older woman should lovingly but in a straightforward manner tell the younger woman of her observations. Once it is determined what sins from which the younger woman must turn, find or write a Bible lesson for her to study or books to read that you can discuss one chapter at a time. At this point, encourage her to put off her sin and out on a righteous response in its place. Ask her weekly how she is doing and talk about how she should have responded when her thinking or verbal response was sinful. This is a good time to begin learning about the specific list of godly character qualities she is to develop in Titus 2:3-4. (These qualities will be covered in detail in chapters three and four.)
*****
Discipling In Ministry
Every Christian woman should be serving the Lord Jesus Christ in some way. Paul wrote to Timothy that the woman's adornment should come "by means of good works, as befits women making a claim to godliness" (1 Timothy 2:10). Very often, a large portion of her ministry is to her husband and family through caring for them and praying for them. Ask these questions, "What so you think your spiritual gifts are?" or "If you could do anything for the Lord, what would you want to do?" She may have a definite idea of something she would like to do. Perhaps it is to teach a Sunday School class but she does not know how. She may have a desire to organize meals for the sick or be hospitable to visitors or out of town guests to the church. Maybe she has a heart to visit those in nursing homes or use her talent to sing in the choir. Regardless, it is likely that her desires have come to her from God through spiritual gifts or natural talents that He has given her. In fact, it may be feasible for her to begin serving the Lord right away at a lesser level than her full desire.
It is also possible that God has given her desires that will be fulfilled in a way she has not imagined. For instance, I have never become a missionary but have had many opportunities to teach, help equip, and pray for women who are. I may never actually go to the mission field, but God is none-the-less using me indirectly on the mission field to serve Him on behalf of others. Just as it was probably not God's will for me to go to Africa, or I was not ready, the younger woman may not be ready to teach a Sunday School class for five-year-olds because she does not have patience with the children or sound Bible knowledge. While she is putting on the character qualities of patience and is learning the doctrine, she can still observe one of the experienced teachers or serve as an aid in her class.
Once, I helped a younger woman who had a desire to teach our ladies' Bible study. With the permission of the elders, I gave her small teaching assignments (perhaps a five or ten minute segment in my lesson that she would prepare and I would review with her). I taught her how to organize her own lessons and teach them in a clear and coherent manner. She practiced and I lovingly critiqued her content and delivery. Eventually, she taught an entire lesson and then a series of lessons. Even though she was already gifted by God, she and others benefited from the little bit of help I gave her.
Serving the Lord is God's will for every Christian -
"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:10, emphasis added
It is the older woman's biblical responsibility to walk in good works such as teaching and encouraging the younger women by discipling them in all three of these areas - doctrine, character, and ministry.
Examples of Discipling Younger Women
Mrs. Hensley
Mrs. Hensley is like the Pied Piper. She meets once evening every other week with young women from her church and community. She is teaching them Bible-based material on raising kids. She never stops. When she gets to the last lesson, she starts over. Young women cycle in at any time and her class has grown by leaps and bounds. She is a precious lady and the younger women love her. She takes care and time on each lesson. In fact, they stay on one lesson as many weeks as necessary until they understand it. More importantly, the younger women are growing in their love for God as they see the Scriptures explained practically and they implement them in their lives.
Emily
Recently, Emily had an opportunity to disciple her daughter-in-law in raising children. Emily lovingly prepared her lesson and went over it with Melinda each time they met. She encouraged Melinda and gave her the gospel. Once I met with Melinda and asked her if she was a Christian. She said, "I am not a Christian yet, but Emily is helping me to become one." In the meantime, they are both seeing the fruit of godly, consistent discipline in three-year-old Zachary's life.
Maribeth
Maribeth is a forty-nine year old single lady. She has never been married and works as a computer analyst for a large corporation. At work, she is surrounded by younger women, some of whom gravitate to her with teir problems or just for Christian fellowship. Whether it is romance questions like whether to continue dating a particular young man or a problem with a non-Christian husband, Maribeth has learned to go to the Scriptures to answer their questions and to give them hope. She has had the joy of seeing the Lord work in several young women's lives. Maribeth would prefer to be in a "professional" ministry, but God is using her for His glory right where she is!
Sandy
Sandy teaches a Sunday School class of about twenty ladies. She teaches them and shares her life with them. They frequently call her to help with their problems. Sandy is currently taking a course on biblical counseling to better prepare herself to answer their questions practically and giv ehtem guidance. It is obvious how much Sandy loves the Lord and she is a joy to be around. Now that her children are almost grown, she has much more time to reach out to other women and she is using that time wisely.
Conclusion
No matter what you are teaching the younger woman -- how to sew, know clear sound Bible doctrine, be godly in character, or to serve the Lord through some sort of ministry to her gfamily, church, or friends, God wants the older women to teach and encourage the younger women. I have found it helpful to have some sort of organized method. Regardless of the younger woman's strengths or weaknesses, I try to help her in all three of the areas mentioned in this chapter - doctrine, character, and ministry. Obviously, some require more help in certain areas than others. My goal is to help them mature to the point that with God's help they begin to serve others in a way that is pleasing and honoring to the Lord Jesus Christ.
In the first three chapters, I have explained the broad overview of the areas in which I disciple younger women. These are all areas in which God has and is continuing to mature me. The areas of doctrine, character, and ministry are what we cover when I disciple other women. Now, I want to proceed to the second part of this book - How does a Titus 2 Woman Act?
COMPLETE
Mother patiently showed us how to lay out the patterns, cut out the dresses, and then sew them together. Although I did not think about it at the time, there was a great deal of love and joy for my Mother in what she was doing. I learned a lot about sewing even though I do not recall ever having the courage to wear that dress in public. Perhaps I did once. Mother, in a sense, was being a Titus 2 Woman to us. She was an older woman teaching the younger women how to care for their families and be sensible with money. As a result, she gave me a legacy that is part of me today. Although I do not have much time to sew, I still enjoy it when I can.
Just as my Mother had a desire to teach me and my friend Anna, God has given me a desire to teach the younger women how to do many things. Instead of sewing, however, I desire to teach others to "love their husbands, love their children, be kind, sensible, pure, workers at home, and be subject to their own husbands" (Titus 2:3-5). In order to accomplish this goal, when I have a Titus 2 relationship with a younger woman, I become personally involved in her life. She is my friend. I share personal things with her and we help each other become as much like the Lord Jesus Christ as possible.
Sometimes we meet together on a scheduled basis such as once a week. Other times, we simply talk on the telephone or meet for lunch. We may meet together to discuss a good Christian book we are both reading. Maybe she desires an older woman to pray with or perhaps to teach her how to sew, shop for groceries, or clean her house. Depending on her areas of weakness and strength, I disciple and hold her accountable in the three areas in which God has in the past and still is maturing me: doctrine, character, and ministry.
*****
Discipling in Doctrine
My experience has been that most of the Christian women I disciple have very sound doctrinal beliefs. When told the definition of a particular Bible doctrine, the readily agree. However when asked to explain the same doctrine in their own words without first being told the answer, they are often unable to clearly explain it and cannot think of a Scripture to prove their point. So, with the assistance of our pastor I have written short, simple definitions with two or three Scripture references for each core doctrine. I usually ask the ladies I am discipling to write their own definitions using their own words. This also includes verbally saying the definitions, looking up the Scriptures, and pretending to explain them to someone else. I ask them to speak aloud and perhaps even practice with someone else to make sure they are being clear. Once I had a public speaking teacher in college who required us to practice aloud. Her point was that even if we were nervous, we would be much more likely to give a clear presentation. I did not know it then but it is actually biblical to "teach your mouth how to speak" (Proverbs 16:23). Women need to be doctrinally sound and teach other women in a clear, biblical manner.
Discipling in Character
Often I will ask a younger woman, "What sins or what character weaknesses do you think God wants you to work on?" They might reply something like, "pride, anger, fear, gossip, or selfishness." Once I asked a woman what she thought her sins were. She could not think of any, so I asked her this, "If I could ask your husband what he would like for you to change, what would he say?" Quickly, she gave me quite a list!
Another time I asked a woman what sin in her life needed work and she was very vague about what sin even was. So, I read to her the deeds of the flesh (which the Bible says are obvious): "...immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these..." (Galatians 5:19-21). We did not proceed past the first one, immorality, before she stopped me and asked me to help her.
Frequently, the older woman will have observed an area in which she believes the younger woman should work. If so, the older woman should lovingly but in a straightforward manner tell the younger woman of her observations. Once it is determined what sins from which the younger woman must turn, find or write a Bible lesson for her to study or books to read that you can discuss one chapter at a time. At this point, encourage her to put off her sin and out on a righteous response in its place. Ask her weekly how she is doing and talk about how she should have responded when her thinking or verbal response was sinful. This is a good time to begin learning about the specific list of godly character qualities she is to develop in Titus 2:3-4. (These qualities will be covered in detail in chapters three and four.)
*****
Discipling In Ministry
Every Christian woman should be serving the Lord Jesus Christ in some way. Paul wrote to Timothy that the woman's adornment should come "by means of good works, as befits women making a claim to godliness" (1 Timothy 2:10). Very often, a large portion of her ministry is to her husband and family through caring for them and praying for them. Ask these questions, "What so you think your spiritual gifts are?" or "If you could do anything for the Lord, what would you want to do?" She may have a definite idea of something she would like to do. Perhaps it is to teach a Sunday School class but she does not know how. She may have a desire to organize meals for the sick or be hospitable to visitors or out of town guests to the church. Maybe she has a heart to visit those in nursing homes or use her talent to sing in the choir. Regardless, it is likely that her desires have come to her from God through spiritual gifts or natural talents that He has given her. In fact, it may be feasible for her to begin serving the Lord right away at a lesser level than her full desire.
It is also possible that God has given her desires that will be fulfilled in a way she has not imagined. For instance, I have never become a missionary but have had many opportunities to teach, help equip, and pray for women who are. I may never actually go to the mission field, but God is none-the-less using me indirectly on the mission field to serve Him on behalf of others. Just as it was probably not God's will for me to go to Africa, or I was not ready, the younger woman may not be ready to teach a Sunday School class for five-year-olds because she does not have patience with the children or sound Bible knowledge. While she is putting on the character qualities of patience and is learning the doctrine, she can still observe one of the experienced teachers or serve as an aid in her class.
Once, I helped a younger woman who had a desire to teach our ladies' Bible study. With the permission of the elders, I gave her small teaching assignments (perhaps a five or ten minute segment in my lesson that she would prepare and I would review with her). I taught her how to organize her own lessons and teach them in a clear and coherent manner. She practiced and I lovingly critiqued her content and delivery. Eventually, she taught an entire lesson and then a series of lessons. Even though she was already gifted by God, she and others benefited from the little bit of help I gave her.
Serving the Lord is God's will for every Christian -
"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:10, emphasis added
It is the older woman's biblical responsibility to walk in good works such as teaching and encouraging the younger women by discipling them in all three of these areas - doctrine, character, and ministry.
Examples of Discipling Younger Women
Mrs. Hensley
Mrs. Hensley is like the Pied Piper. She meets once evening every other week with young women from her church and community. She is teaching them Bible-based material on raising kids. She never stops. When she gets to the last lesson, she starts over. Young women cycle in at any time and her class has grown by leaps and bounds. She is a precious lady and the younger women love her. She takes care and time on each lesson. In fact, they stay on one lesson as many weeks as necessary until they understand it. More importantly, the younger women are growing in their love for God as they see the Scriptures explained practically and they implement them in their lives.
Emily
Recently, Emily had an opportunity to disciple her daughter-in-law in raising children. Emily lovingly prepared her lesson and went over it with Melinda each time they met. She encouraged Melinda and gave her the gospel. Once I met with Melinda and asked her if she was a Christian. She said, "I am not a Christian yet, but Emily is helping me to become one." In the meantime, they are both seeing the fruit of godly, consistent discipline in three-year-old Zachary's life.
Maribeth
Maribeth is a forty-nine year old single lady. She has never been married and works as a computer analyst for a large corporation. At work, she is surrounded by younger women, some of whom gravitate to her with teir problems or just for Christian fellowship. Whether it is romance questions like whether to continue dating a particular young man or a problem with a non-Christian husband, Maribeth has learned to go to the Scriptures to answer their questions and to give them hope. She has had the joy of seeing the Lord work in several young women's lives. Maribeth would prefer to be in a "professional" ministry, but God is using her for His glory right where she is!
Sandy
Sandy teaches a Sunday School class of about twenty ladies. She teaches them and shares her life with them. They frequently call her to help with their problems. Sandy is currently taking a course on biblical counseling to better prepare herself to answer their questions practically and giv ehtem guidance. It is obvious how much Sandy loves the Lord and she is a joy to be around. Now that her children are almost grown, she has much more time to reach out to other women and she is using that time wisely.
Conclusion
No matter what you are teaching the younger woman -- how to sew, know clear sound Bible doctrine, be godly in character, or to serve the Lord through some sort of ministry to her gfamily, church, or friends, God wants the older women to teach and encourage the younger women. I have found it helpful to have some sort of organized method. Regardless of the younger woman's strengths or weaknesses, I try to help her in all three of the areas mentioned in this chapter - doctrine, character, and ministry. Obviously, some require more help in certain areas than others. My goal is to help them mature to the point that with God's help they begin to serve others in a way that is pleasing and honoring to the Lord Jesus Christ.
In the first three chapters, I have explained the broad overview of the areas in which I disciple younger women. These are all areas in which God has and is continuing to mature me. The areas of doctrine, character, and ministry are what we cover when I disciple other women. Now, I want to proceed to the second part of this book - How does a Titus 2 Woman Act?
COMPLETE
